Invested

Diya lighting the path

We have finally hit double digits.  We are in the big leagues now.  Not exactly newcomers and not exactly old timers.  I had a dream last night about leaving Guyana and I awoke with a deep sense of sadness.  Maybe it was because I was feeling particularly Guyanese yesterday.  I was amongst the regulars at the Saturday market, waving to several people who actually called me by name instead of the usual “white gyal.”  I bought a coconut shredder and used it to make coconut milk for shrimp curry.  Of course when you have shredded coconut, you also have to make Guyanese sugar cake.  Maybe it was because I spent most of the day with my little neighbors who half the time drive me absolutely crazy and the other half make me absolutely adore them.   We pretty much wreaked havoc on my entire house making pancakes and having a dance competition where they dressed up in some of my clothes.  I’m glad that my every day clothes are great for dress up!  That dream made me realize how invested I am here.  I was before, but in a different sort of way.  I was invested in the idea of Peace Corps.  I re-arranged my life and was ready for 2 years of whatever it had to offer.  That was my original investment.  I can tell you, while preparing your life for this type of change is a big deal; it doesn’t have the strong binding sense that you would think.  I remember how overwhelmed I felt when I first moved to my site.  There were spiders and cockroaches and a whole neighborhood full of people to meet.  I knew nothing.  Every cell in my body was screaming at me to get out now and run as fast as I could away from this place.  Deep down I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.  I had already made my original investment hadn’t I?  But I still had those thoughts. 

Condom race at Mini GLOW

                I started writing this post at 5AM (Guyana has REALLY changed my sleeping habits) and at precisely 5:30AM, when I figured I could go back to sleep, my little neighbor knocked on my window asking if I was ready to go run.  I rolled out of bed and got ready to go.  A song by Mumford and Sons states, “Where you invest your love, you invest your life.”   My stomach always knew Guyana and I would be fast friends, but my heart was a little more apprehensive.  I did have a few early set-backs that put my guard up and often in Peace Corps you find your love tends to be unrequited.  The rule of thumb is to proceed with cautious optimism.  Nonetheless, Guyana has slowly crept its way into my heart.  I could tell from how devastated I felt when I knew my students had a tough time on my section of the national exam they recently took.  I could tell when one of the women in a group I work with asked me to write down some information for her because she wanted to be able to present on a health topic.  Certainly, rolling out of bed at 5:30AM on a Sunday morning is more than enough proof for me to see that my heart, my life, are indeed invested.   My investment is no longer a matter of what things I changed at home to come here, it is now that things here matter to me.

                I am seriously surprised that 10 months have already flown by.  There is a quote by C.S. Lewis that sums the whole thing up very nicely: “Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.”  To think back where I was this time last year is almost surreal.  It also scares me how fast time has been flying.  Two years seems like a long time, but in terms of making any sort of difference, it’s hardly enough.   Something I’ve also noticed is a change in my planning.  I used to think and even posted about all of the different scenarios for my life after Peace Corps.  I would sit in my hammock and day dream about them.  Now I am planning month to month.  The thought of life after Peace Corps ironically seems further off than before and a bit more daunting than I originally romanticized.  Instead, those plans are now neatly, nestled in the back of my mind.  

Diya Lighting

We had a lot of success with our mini camp GLOWS and also got to celebrate Diwali a Hindu festival of lights.  It was really amazing to see all of the houses lit up with small candles called Diya.   Also, many mandirs have competitions where they decorate floats with lights and scenes with a god called Latchmi.  Each village will pick their best Latchmi to represent them.  (For more information about Diwali click here!)

          



I also thought that I would have January to reflect and re-organize myself a bit in terms of projects and plans.  It seems, however, that things keep popping up, so we shall see if that actually happens.  For now, I am ready to leave for my first vacation of the year to Barbados.  To say that I am excited is a drastic understatement, but it will do.  I am also looking forward to celebrating Christmas in Guyana.  Apparently, it is kind of a big deal. People are really starting to decorate-I’ve been told I should have Christmas curtains- and the blasting Soca music, which normally tells people to wine up and down has changed to the more wholesome melodies of Santa Cluase is Comin’ to Town. 

Beautiful Latchmi

                I hope everyone had a great Turkey Day.  Admittedly, it was a little sad here but we all got together as volunteers and had quite a delicious feast (turkey included).  We plan on doing the same for Christmas.

Lit up Diwali float

Sending much love from Guyana!

-KB