Whew! What a
mixed bag it was visiting the U.S.! I imagined what it would be like for so long
and now it has turned into kind of a blip on the map. It definitely turned out much different than
I thought it would. In a way, I thought
I’d be running down the streets skipping with joy, but I think I was a lot more
dazed and confused. Luckily I wasn't too confused to eat 5 Chipotle burritos!
Everything felt
normal or maybe I was just silently overwhelmed. Home always has a tendency to fit like your
favorite pair of shoes, but for some reason it was just a little bit off. Maybe it was the clash of living between two
worlds that both vie for my attention. I
was incredibly happy to see my family and friends. They were extremely welcoming and excited and
absolutely wonderful. People came by
cars, planes, and trains just to hangout and it was amazing. 
In an odd way though, there was some weird
gap that I felt hung right between our lives.
I left the U.S., D.C., my friends, and family bundled up inside, away
from the chilly East Coast winter. In my
mind, bundled up was where they stayed.
Yes, I heard about big events and chatted away on Skype dates, but in a
way everything was just standing still in my mind. It felt different than coming home from
college because everyone’s home life is put on hold when you go away to
school. Everyone picks it back up again
when they return. In this case, I was the
only one who had pushed pause and everyone was going about comfortably in
play. So I returned back in a state of
fast forward. It wasn’t too bad, but I
could sense that I was emotional and a bit tired from trying to keep up with
everything. I wanted to just dive into
things as if they didn’t change and I hadn’t left, which is unrealistic. It is unsettling when you miss a “home” in
your mind that is different from what it actually is now. 
I did have those moments though that I could just
breathe in and relish in. Like riding on
the metro late at night with jumbo slice pizza, doing work in my favorite
coffee shop, watching the city bustle for the morning commute, eating AMAZING
Italian food and crying from laughing so hard, making fun of SLOW MO features, driving
and blasting music, seeing my old co-workers from Mary’s Center, sitting and
snuggling on the coach with my dog and chatting with my family, crescent trail
running, sharing good food and drinks with friends and reliving crazy memories
of road trips or studying abroad, and wearing silly hats while hangin out.
One morning I was watching people get on their way
with their morning commute, grabbing coffee and reading the Express and I was
envious, nostalgic really. There is
something about being a working person in the city that has always been
romantic to me. The funny thing is that
I used to have a 9-5 job, with that same metro commute. Half the time I wished I could just go travel
and live somewhere else. It is funny
sometimes how the grass always seems greener.
But as the saying goes, it is always greener where you water it.
I think that’s the thing. I have spent a lot of time
making a life in Guyana and I can see I’ve done a pretty good job; my life isn’t
exactly in D.C. anymore. I also realized
that a part of me has always been there hanging on, boots stuck in the mud like
a stubborn little girl throwing a tantrum.
This time when I left, I scooped her up; it was time to take her with me
and she knew it. It is hard to be fully
somewhere when another part of you is trying to get you to turn back around. You have to leave things as they were and
maybe they were meant to be left that way, so that years later you can get
together and talk about them, like that trip to Spain, or that crazy
night. 
I do know that friendship is one thing that bridges
space and time. It was amazing how you
can just pick back up with people like old times. It is truly the love and support of friends
and family that have made it possible for me to even have the courage to do
something like the Peace Corps, well anything in life really. Although I’d love to go back and just be, we
all have our own lives that have carried us to different places, which is
pretty amazing to see. 
So alas, I am back in Guyana with another 10 months
to go. I have already hit the ground
running with Camp GLOW planning, meeting the newbies, among other things. I think July and August are going to be busy
months filled with camps so I’m gearing up for that. If you don’t hear from me til late August,
you know why.
Overall, I am so happy I was able to go home to
visit and I want to thank everyone for their love and support. I’ll be back jus’ now and in the meantime,
you are always welcome to come visit me in the wild land of Guyana! :-)
-KB
P.S. I made in through an entire blog entry without
using any quotes….whhaaatt???!
