I was reading a PC blog the other day that included
tips about PCVs going home. It mentioned
that we shouldn’t expect other people to want every single detail of our PC
experience if we ourselves haven’t been in tune with every detail of our
friends and family’s lives. Admittedly,
I find my life here quite different than living in the U.S. but whether in
Guyana or the U.S. we all have our day to day occurrences. Truthfully, no one is going to listen to all
of them all at once and I can’t even remember them all anyway. That is the main reason why I chose to write
this blog about my experiences, so I can remember some of my thoughts and
feelings about my service here and so that I can share some things more
regularly with you.
Now that I have gotten off track (my mind these days),
let me get back to what I wanted to share.
In Peace Corps, I feel like things are always a little more uncertain
than life at home. I expected that I
would only come home once during my service.
First of all it is expensive to travel back and forth, we have limited
vacation days, and it’s just really hard to be back and forth between two
different lives so to speak. However,
towards the end of October, I was realizing more and more that I was starting
to feel burnt out. I had had a packed
summer, October I don’t think I was home one weekend, and then I had more
activities in November. Not to mention
grad school apps, finishing my Masters work, and the limitless paper work
impending for COS.
I was sitting on a
mini bus one day and I just craved being home; I needed a break, I needed to be
with my family, I needed to get myself in order. Luckily, my parents are amazing and were
excited to have me home too. I attended
an AWESOME mini GLOW in Linden, which always recharges my spirit here and
hopped on a plane the next day.
All of a
sudden I found myself standing on the streets of NYC bleary eyed and freezing
searching for a Chipotle before I embarked on the next 4 hour bus ride leg of
my journey. Unlike last time, I barely
told anyone I was coming home. I just
wanted to relax and spend time with my family.
Instead of cramming in everything all at once, things happened more
organically. I had no expectations and
no real set plans and it was glorious. I
cooked what I wanted, explored some restaurants, and just was completely lazy
at times.
My late November arrival put me right in line to celebrate
on of my most favorite holidays; Thanksgiving.
My mom has a big family so we all get together and have a big delicious
dinner.
It was even more important to be
there this year because it was the first without my uncle. He recently passed away and Thanksgiving I
think was one of his favorite holidays as well.
I couldn’t fathom the idea of my family getting together, remembering
and honoring him and not being there. I
missed last Thanksgiving dearly, so I know this year would have been even
worse. It was definitely a bitter sweet
day. I loved seeing all of my cousins,
aunts, uncles, but you could tell someone was missing. The good thing about a big family though is
that we are all there to support one another and it is also amazing to see the
new generations of our family. I also
realized that a lot more people follow my blog than I thought. It was really encouraging to hear that a lot
of my family follows these posts and I really appreciate it!
As my parents and I drove down from New York, we
looked for little off the beaten path restaurants. I can remember taking lots of these types of
long car rides, finding little places, and just enjoying ourselves. We never really did the big, Disneyland
trips, or traveled to really touristy places.
In a way I think this is why I appreciate the little places I come
across here in Guyana or anywhere I travel.
I marvel at the small things, like really good food shops, and every so
often I feel the need to get out and see something new, even if it isn’t that
significant.
After this past visit home, I feel much more
comfortable with the idea of living back in the U.S. When I visited home the first time, I wasn’t
ready to be back; I simply still had a lot left to do in Guyana. I went to
board my bus to New York and the bus manager happened to be Guyanese. She exclaimed “You are going to Guyana?! I wish I were going there!” I had to smile a
little. I have met many Guyanese who want to come to the U.S., and this woman
was yearning for Guyana. I could relate
though, no matter where you are there is always a wholesome, nostalgic feeling
that compels you home from time to time.
When I touched down in Guyana I noticed any pangs of extreme culture
shock were over. As I stepped off the
plane I switched U.S. mode off and Guyana mode on. Without really blinking, I gave an impromptu speech
for the end of our exercise class and helped out at another awesome mini-GLOW. Somehow I have always hit the ground running
here. The only difference is that now I
find myself saying goodbye to a lot of things.
As I was driving out of Black Bush from our minicamp, I realized that
that might be the last one I do, the last time I’m even in Black Bush or see
some of our campers. Black Bush was one
of the first rural sites I visited when I was first allowed to spend the night
out of my own site. How hospitable the
people were and how different their community was compared as my own. We have had many phenomenal GLOW girls come
from that area and while it’s not a place I have visited often, it has made a
big impression on me, just as a lot of villages and people in Guyana have.
I expect to have a lot more moments like this in the
next few months. The next few months are
actually all I have left. It will be a
mix of cramming in everything I still need/want to do here, freaking out about
what I will do after PC, as well as figuring out how to leave things. I know you need to have a goodbye in order to
go on to the next thing, in which I have a lot of great adventures coming up,
but it still doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier. And somehow no matter what I do, my eyes
always seem to be allergic to goodbyes.
As this is somewhat of a Thanksgiving post, I can
tell you I am always and forever thankful for my family and friends that I have
all over. I also am extremely thankful
for the opportunity to see so many amazing things here in Guyana, whether it is
the beauty of the land, learning about the culture, or watching the lives of
people change and grow, my experiences here have influenced me greatly. Also I am grateful for the perspective to be
thankful for the things I have never had to know and for the challenges that
have made me a stronger individual.
Finally, I am thankful for the opportunity to know such a great
uncle. He will be greatly missed, but I
know I am a better person because he has touched my life and that his memory will always live on within me.
-KB
