The Year of Transition

I’m a planner.  I might not look like it, I might be a hot mess sometimes, but somewhere at the heart of it all, there is a method to the madness.  In fact, I can be absolutely meticulous, as long as I have the time to sit down and focus on things for a while. Unfortunately, in Guyana and most of my life, having extensive time to sit down seems to evade me for the most part.  I like to be busy, to be out there.  If I wake up early, it means I can run or exercise a bit longer.  If my schedule is looking a little thin, I will ask for more to do or plan some sort of activity.  Even if I turn up, sweating, out of breath, with a whirlwind of bags, papers, or food, swirling in the midst, I don’t mind.  It’s pretty typical actually. 

I had gone home to recharge and I certainly needed it.  Especially because this last leg of my journey here is going to require a lot of me to get through to the end.  Two months, that is all.  All I have to finish my projects, to plan my backpacking trip, to finish my Master’s work, to complete forms to finish my service and to enroll in nursing school.  Not to mention grappling with good bye.  I am starting to feel like I am bi-polar.  Some moments I get so excited about my next set of plans and then the next moment I’m almost in tears thinking about all the things I am going to miss.  I want to stand still, just for a moment and find some way to figure out the meaning of this whole experience.  However, I am on slippery footing, likely to wash away at any moment as the tides turn.  My calendar said two years just a minute ago but it seems the words fell off the page and now reads: “months.” 

But alas, I am a planner and somehow things seem to be going on as planned.  In fact, I think I have every week pretty much planned out until the end of next year.  It seems amazing, to know what I will be doing and I have some pretty great adventures planned for next year.  It’s also completely opposite as to how I’ve been living the past two years.  I’ve enjoyed the spontaneity of things here, how every week is different.  The other week I was mashed up in a hammock for 6 hours on an overnight boat ride to help with a camp in a remote village.  I met adorable, curious children, played sports with them, bathed in black water to wash off the day’s work, bonded with the other volunteers at night, entertaining ourselves with the lack of current.  It hasn’t all been like that, but there is always the possibility, which definitely keeps you going.  

I went on speedboats, buses, and cars to go celebrate Christmas with other volunteers and then with my host family after that.  I always feel at home with my host family and it is so nice to stay by them.  We just relax, my host mom is an AMAZING cook, so I end up eating a lot of good food, and we gaff.  

I also visited Suriname for New Years with some other volunteers, which was another great adventure.  I got to know the police there quite well, restored my faith in humanity, and was reminded that even if you have it all planned out, there is always the unexpected.  But that is a story for another day.

2012 was certainly the year of new adventures and change.  2013 I already knew would be the year to set up plans for the future and 2014 seems to be shaping up to a busy year of transition.  I will be leaving Guyana, traveling around South America and parts of the U.S., doing pre-req classes, finding a summer job, then moving to Baltimore and starting a rigorous nursing program at Johns Hopkins.  Who knew moving back home after two years would be so complex!   I am extremely excited for every bit of it and also think I might be a bit mad for piling on so many things.  I know nursing will allow me to do so much in the future, traveling is one of my favorite things, and seeing friends and family again will be nice.  The plan is in place and I am sure I will show up to things as my typical whirlwind self.  The only thing that does scare me is that everything seems so planned compared to this spontaneous life I’ve been living.  I’m worried that when I finally have a moment to realize what has happened, I will find myself in the middle of a road, cars swerving around me, zooming towards where ever it is they are going.  It is a road that I used to look at from a far, with inner conflict as to whether I should be on it too.  Ultimately, I won’t know how I’ll feel about it until I get there.  I have planned a whole set of things before and have somehow made an adventure out of everything, so I think I will be okay.

I hope everyone has had a VERY Happy New Year!  Well wishes for 2014 and I will be seeing you all on a more regular basis in just a short amount of time!

Lots of Love from Guyana,

-KB

P.S. If you are looking to travel in South America, especially the week of March 20-April 5, let me know! :-D